I was born in 1978, November 16th. Just in between the M and the B, within the builders’ arse crack of Barnet, North London.
Growing up, which is the only way to grow in my opinion. I was raised by wild llamas. Which are well known for plaguing North London, and being terrible bus drivers, as well as being awful at doing tax returns. My earliest memory of performing was playing a toilet seat for the school production, which I found to… actually, sorry. It wasn’t a school production. That was just a normal day at school. When school left me, I continued on my path as a performer in comedy, music, and one-leg Arm wrestling by joining a stagnant circus. I took the role of the hairless lady and have felt comfortable in stockings ever since.
As to where my career goes now, who knows??? Apart from the people who gave me my day pass from the asylum.
This is Simon James of the Big Wang Experience, signing off.
A picture of Mum, Dad, me and baby brother (who we don’t talk about ever since the scandal), in our back garden, 1979.